New Beginnings

New beginnings, ahh

New beginnings, wake up akh

The sun’s going down

Can’t keep being laid off

Time to start your day bruh

Know you need the money if you gon’ survive

The every night shit, every day shit

-Pre-chorus, Nights by Frank Ocean

New Beginnings

Each day is another opportunity to begin again. No more do we have to be constrained by what was, what was supposed to be or what should’ve happened. Instead the day allows for a new beginning. It is another opportunity to start over new and fresh.

This ideal of treating the new day as a fresh start has been a lot for me to grasp and come to terms with. For so long having been raised in a Caribbean home the desire for perfection has been so ingrained in me. As a result I have developed this practice of treating each new day as one which I have to strive to do and attempt to accomplish everything. The critical voice has been roaring so loud within-stating do more and do stop till you’ve reached the goal-it’s never been stopping.

I realized that I have been consistently working which has manifested in overextending myself  and leaving myself at the back burner at times. If that is not occuring I’ve been consistently in state of reflect and tap in. The emotions come in like a flood. Sometimes they cease, where at other times they are ongoing. I have been learning to listen inward and act based on what has been coming up and resonating for me.

By accepting the new day and treating it as a new opportunity I am learning that the new day is something to be grateful for. Instead of being so focused on the loss of days past and what wasn’t done, I am learning to move forward in grace and gratitude in anticipation for how the new day will unfold. Accepting it for what it is instead of resisting it. My means in trying to accept the new day for what it is has been an experience of highs and lows over the years.

There were times when I haven’t been able to accept the new moment and new day. I have been in my head stewing over what I experienced in the past or where I fell short. As a result my anxiety has been on the up and up. Waking up with a fast beating heart and muscles locking up has manifested as my preoccupation with the past has increased.

My experience with chronic pain has flared whenever I am stressing or worrying about something that happened in the past or trying to anticipate future possibilities. It started in my feet and lower back at first when I was younger. Over time it escalated and rose throughout my upper body. Living on a consistent basis with pain was just something I could no longer ignore. By tapping inward and learning to release I have been able to navigate the pain and let go.

I have been learning day by day that waking up every morning is something to be celebrated. Not everyday is promised. Experiencing trauma and its after effects has taught me to enjoy my good days as they come in and try to do as much as I can according to what my body can handle on a “bad day”. Any day that I can rise and take in the breath and move with ease is a miracle to be savored. The day is not a stalemate or a race to be rushed to or spent stewing over what was.

As a recovering overthinker I know this releasing of the preoccupation with what has past is easier said than done. I am learning that this process takes time. Changes happen gradually over time. Nothing is too rigid or fixed.

Allowing room for flexibility in terms of my own experience and perspective in each day with each moment whether it be in a  relationship, job, book, writing or study has allowed me a much richer experience. The reality I am learning too is that not everyday will be absolutely one way or go according to plan.

It’s evident though that no matter how the day manifests itself over time it is key to accept it as it is. It has been made apparent for me how important it is to follow the flow instead of resisting it.

I encourage you to treat each new day as another opportunity to start over and show up fully.

Wishing you peace, love and blessings.

Love, Cherie

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